Blank Spaces: A Novel About Forgotten Memories

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Second, the mouse was in cage B in which it received foot shocks while its neurons that encode cage A were stimulated. Afterward, these mice were exposed to cage A again as well as a novel cage cage C. After this classical conditioning, mice were specifically afraid of cage A blue. The gray bars are from control mice.

Blank Spaces

Ramirez et al, Science , Figure 2F. In this case, the researchers labelled the cells corresponding to the cage in which fear conditioning was performed. They found that the mice who were given this amnesic drug were less afraid compared to non-amnesic mice when the mice returned to this cage that they had previously had shocked feet in. Therefore, the amnesic mice had essentially forgotten that this cage is scary. When these cells were stimulated, this revived the fear response, and the amnesic mice exhibited freezing.

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In other words, the experimenter brought back a forgotten memory to these mice by stimulating their neurons directly. This was surprising because these cells were critical for a memory that had shown to be forgotten. Therefore, we could have expected that stimulation of these cells would no longer evoke a fear memory. But they do. Lauren Quinn is a writer and teacher in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in I am four years old. The day is gray and the windshield wipers are groaning, the engine rumbles as if the whole car might break apart.

My dad has let me sit in the front seat, which makes me feel dangerously mature. I glance at the people in the other cars, and I think that if I hold very still—if I sit up taller and tuck the seatbelt down around my shoulder—I could trick those other people into thinking we were lovers. Then the memory snaps shut. There is blackness, nothing. My dad walks me across the kitchen, lifts me up, sets me on the stool.

He smoothes a piece of paper out in front of me. I can see the kitchen with razor clarity, the exactitude of the details: the tin can holding the markers and pens, the dingy side of the refrigerator, the white angle of the drawing table. Cars whoosh outside the window, Hayes Street cold and deserted below. Through the wood and plaster, I can hear muffled voices.

A Novel About Forgotten Memories

Long silences expand between the words. I swing my feet and pretend not to hear. The tips of the felt markers are stale. I am the only one who uses them anymore. Most childhood memories exist in such flashes: disparate scenes. Often, the chronological narrative that explains these recollected scenes remains obscured to us, a blur we try to sharpen through family stories and photographs. A variety of biological mechanisms are involved in the complex and tenuous process of making memories. Buried between our sizeable cerebral cortex and our base reptilian brain, the hippocampus is the toll plaza through which sensory information must pass before being stored into declarative, explicit memory.

At the end of the hippocampus is the almond-shaped amygdala, responsible for sorting emotional stimulus and forming non-declarative, implicit memory. While declarative memory expresses in language—facts, events, narratives—non-declarative memory expresses through performance—habits, behaviours, emotional responses. A feedback loop between the hippocampus and amygdala converts short-term memory into episodic narrative memory. Working in concert, the two brain regions form long-lasting impressions of emotionally significant events, what you call your life story.

Without this interchange, we would never form new memories.

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We would, instead, live in the perpetual present, a place devoid of stories. In both cases, time dissolves and a person is left either without a history or unable to write a new one. The story goes like this. My mother likes to recount this memory. Everything else is clear—the furniture, the houseplants, the other people, with their bad perms and torn-up blue jeans. Only my uncle, the central character, is missing.

Within a year, he had full-blown AIDS , and within two years, he was dead. Someone called me to come take a photo, and I can tell you that in that photo, I am sitting next to my uncle. There was a ficus plant in the corner. On fogless days the sun came through the Venetian blinds in angry little slants. The floors were wooden.

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The bed was dirty—soiled sheets and Chinese takeout cartons and chicken bones. My uncle got sick first. Jamie kept cutting hair, kept partying, kept busy. Eventually, Jamie died too. One of the great stories in our family mythology took place in that bed. I picture something grainy, black-and-white, hand-held. I imagine my uncle propping himself up on his elbow. There were other movies—art-house movies, box-in-the-back-of-the-closet movies.

After my uncle died, my grandparents flew out from Milwaukee to help my dad sort through the apartment. They were digging through the canvases, the sketchbooks, the reels of old film. I can see them sitting on the floor, the shades drawn, a Midwestern minister and his Sunday School wife. They put on a reel. Against the wall, a series of cocks appears—naked, flaccid, erect, swinging, stiffening. My grandma closed her eyes, pinched her brows together and shook her head.

There are worse things to believe. For his seventh birthday, my uncle asked my grandparents for a Barbie doll. No one remembers any debate or discussion. My uncle died, and the story, if there was one, died with him. The brain becomes so busy managing the threatening stimulus and ensuing hormones that integrated functions of consciousness, memory, identity and perception get disrupted.

Apparently I had an improv dance routine. Apparently I was decent at freestyling. Apparently I peed out of the window of a moving vehicle on the Bay Bridge. This is called peri-traumatic disassociation. In the case of trauma, disassociation acts as a survival tool. But stepping out of the linear narrative is dangerous. During disassociation, the dialogue between the hippocampus and amygdala breaks down, and short-term recollections do not get transferred to long-term memory. Instead they become vagrants triggered by sensory stimuli—smells, sounds, the slant of sunlight across a soiled bed—that wander your brain in real-time.

You lose the plot line of your life. Such compartmentalization is one of the key predictors of the development of PTSD , and can lead to fragmented or blurred memories, or amnesia.

Memory Blank

A study by Sargent and Slater found significant amnesia in out of 1, consecutively admitted WWII combat veterans. In the title story, a white South African widow suffers from dementia and requires the use of a fictionalized device that records and stores her memories.

Her physician, Dr.

08 Forgotten Memory - Zakk Wylde (Book of Shadows II - 2016)

What we know is always evolving, always subdividing. Remember a memory often enough and you can create a new memory, the memory of remembering. In the end, it is a mystery in search of buried treasure.

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This memoir helped me understand the depth of a head injury. Meck writes as a possible explanation for her style? And how cute it was to see them falling for each other!! But they do. Sep 07, Scribal rated it liked it. No one accuses this person, but at least Vaughn and his partner at the insurance firm were suspicious.

Memories, as symtoms, can be worked through in a way that allows for a more adaptive form of remembering and forgetting. The psychological crisis that accompanies our changing climate. Uncanny experiences remind us of how we are strangers to ourselves. Our connection to one another still depends on face to face conversation. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Back Magazine. Subscribe Issue Archive. Back Today.